Thought 1

do i brace it enough to make me love of my being on planet earth?

hmm.
there are times i think i am so tired of myself.
there are times i said to myself  “ika, what’ve you done!”..”what are you doing?”
more like
 ” what the HELL are you doing?”.

you know, there is a lot of things i wanted to do in this world.
more like..there is a lot of things i wanted to here.
i want to shop
i want to go places
i want to go to the opera, the concert, the ballet, the jazz, the club, ..the live
i want to get physical (i am not talking about anything sex related here..i mean physical activities)
i want to adventure
i want to discover
i want to met people
i want to get to know people
i want to have people around..
(also, i want to have u here)
i want to be happy
i want to make people happy
i want to make people around me happy

i want to be alive. you know ALIVE.

and there are times, i felt like hmmm.
more like hmm.. that thing that symbolize as big letter S with a vertical stroke in the middle stops me.
now, i have realized that could not only stops me but other people too.

well, i tried to tell myself there are always many other ways to feel alive.
most of the times i tell myself i can be alive without very much of that big-letter-S-with-a-vertical-stroke-in the-middle thing.
but I can’t lie
sometimes  that big-letter-S-with-a-vertical-stroke-in the-middle thing comes in to the way.
not very much in the way…but a bit in a way.

well, i can’t lie to myself either.
sometimes i blame myself…or maybe asking myself would be a better word for it
wishing that ‘that’ thing didn’t happen
if that thing didn’t happen, life could be a little bit different.
not saying i don’t like it
not saying that ‘that thing that happen’ didn’t change me a all.
it does..
actually a better person.

just sometimes i know,
there is a big opportunity here.
am i wasting my life because of what had happened ?
or
do i brace it enough to make me love of my being on planet earth?
i think i should do the later.

brace it.

nothing can comes in to the way.
correct?

NOTHING CAN COMES IN TO THE WAY.
you study smart when you should, play hard when u can.

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