Hello stranger.

funny how we meet and giggles one day and become total stranger the very next.

maybe

Sentap! to realize.

So, I asked ma if there is any difference having me at home now or maybe a bit later. Would it make any different if I go back to Perth last November and maybe come back  in February? She said nothing much, yes someone to help clean the dishes, do the laundry. Life would be the same then.

SENTAP.

if family wasn’t my reason then. what was?

if money was the reason then..but that didn’t sounds like me to be defeated by money. what was then?

So I think hard. what was the reason? what was?

I had a breakdown. That was it. Heart break brought me back here. Heart break kills my dream. All other dreams. Worse part, I let it be. Yes, fool I was.

“Don’t let yesterday take too much time today” – anonymous

All the reasons I told my friends seems so ridiculous now I can’t even admit it had came out from this mouth. Urgh,  can I bury this face in the sand now?

 

well well then. What say you?

What could I do to compensate to this? 

Alhamdulillah.

Maybe we have to say our gratitude a little bit more.

Say Alhamdulillah for every little things.

Alhamdulillah, I’ve been lucky. 

Thank you, Allah.

for this little cluttered space, I called my home.

for this few imperfect people, I called my family and my friends.

for this crowded hazy city, I called my hometown.

for this small wages, I called my jobs.

for these amazing chances, I called my life.

for this empty heart, I called my love.

because of all these, I shall never look back and weep for yesterday. 

because tomorrow is another day. 

tomorrow is another chance. 

tomorrow is the promise of Your unconditional Love.

Thank you, Allah.

 

Stay

I’m no longer in there. Really. But, this song is too .. mm honestly true? In a weird way, it’s a soothing song. Yes, I won’t deny sometimes the mind wanders a little bit at yesterday’s hoping for better situations. But again we learn from yesterday’s mistakes for a better tomorrow don’t we?

😉

good times

😉

Phillipe Starck Ghost Chair

This is a self note on my virtual inspiration wall because printing and ‘masking tape-ing‘ these images on a real wall would be too much of a hassle. 

Add on to my wish list : the sexy Phillipe Starck Ghost Chair.

 

(can a person salivating over a chair?). Last time I went chair browsing it’s only RM300 per chair….only? Maybe if I eat biskut kering, milo and maggi from the office pantry for breakfast and lunch every day for a month. 

peace. xo

*another selfnote because I’m such forgetful. Next time, an entry of 101 chairs in the world a classy architect should know. (bajet curlaass. lol)

Notes on 2012

So, we survived Y2K and the Mayan prophecy. We lived through 01/01/01, 10/11/12 and all other beautiful dates a century could offer (too lazy to list it all here ;p). Harry Potter finally solves the mystery and killed Voldermont. Bella Swan became a vampire at last. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise were divorced. Prince William had a grandest royal wedding. Kate Middleton is a living Cinderella fairy tale.  Nothing unpredictable 

Me in 2012?

Graduated from my masters degree. Tasted a lil bit of heaven, a lil bit hell and a little bit of in between. Got a chance to live like an educated, broke and poor one day. Had feast like a king literary on the next day. Lost a little bit of my mind on the search of a little bit of my heart.  Thought had seen enough irony in life to keep both feet anchored to the ground, unshaken.  Did a painting and discover maybe I should continue do this part time. Played netball and thought why the hell didn’t I played this a little bit more in school? Discovered real good friends and friends with many faces.  Left Perth without a proper goodbye because I couldn’t bear to face the truth myself. Gained a little bit of faith, lost a little bit of trust.  Learned to let go a little bit of hopes to aim at better ones.

Home into the arms of loved ones to realize what another mountain to climb. Landed on an offer and promises one couldn’t resist, yet still dreams over the clouds at the other sides of the mountains. Found that the title architect is now beared upon me. (was once a dream I thought so hard to reach) Realize that the power I now have to delete that lines in that AutoCAD drawing could be intoxicating. Still trying to digest the idea I could actually order for a sub and have the right to actually ‘bambu‘ a subordinate just like what I had with my super before. and all the fact that those man at the site is waiting for a command from this mouth (told ya intoxicating.haha) While ‘me’ is learning to command is like learning to read.

More than anything 2012 has taught that I’m beautiful. stronger (sexier) than ever.

Nothing unpredictable. 

haha.

Thank God, for everything. Wish for sky-rocketing life in 2013

owh well. too sleepy now. ciao.

Momento

There’s always a song that could perfectly describe a moment. Not so long ago, this song was a moment. Now? it’s almost a surreal experience. Funny how things turn out to be this way. Sometimes I wonder, how things could be different if I acted differently, if I had said different words. But again, its all are meant to be, meant to be..not to be.

Funny to realized God had actually answered my prayer. Out of all other wants, wishes and pray. Big or small, good or bad, significant or not, He chooses to grant this. This intuition and that longing desire. The speck of a fleck. Even funnier now, I realized that it’s not all about you but about how Al-mighty He is. Though, all that had happened, happened for a reason. Couldn’t be thankful enough. For the most indescribable amazing feeling, the love and the pain, the laugh and the tears. For all the imperfections that made me human.

Eclipse. 365.

Perfect sunday afternoon

Reading, on my new green bedsheet…and listening to tropical rain on sunday afternoon. This is the perfect definition of ‘lazying the sunday afternoon’.

Much love.

be my guest, sailor.

Run, sailor.
away from consequences.
see what you are good at.
so much of being a good person.
played with fire just to stand outside, watched the house burned and said

“owh, don’t know I had caused that, it was only sparkles….. the house burned itself”

Rage yes it was, as legit as it is to me,
for every tears shed.

Deserved to bear not to surrender, you are.
That is how a lion feast.

Eat your own words now, sailor.

Blinded I was.
that cool persona you think you are, still an immature person I first thought you’re not.

Could have begun with honesty,
so taking chances wouldn’t be in its vocabulary.

OWH.
sweet I’ll be, jolly will be.
as you like me faking it
till I’m over it.

Owh.
ashes, I’ll rise.
for you nor my stele.

Sail away now young sailor.
I shall not be on your ship.